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more... Autumn Tears - Love Poems for Dying Children Act 3 
2009-09-23 - extension: zip - size: 58 MB
Autumn Tears - Love Poems for Dying Children Act 3
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(1996) Love Poems For a Dying Children, Act I
2009-07-16 - extension: rar - size: 56 MB
(1996) Love Poems For a Dying Children, Act I
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just got my zippo yesterday, so i guess im a amature. this is what I've learned with no prior (More) just got my zippo yesterday, so i guess im a amature. this is what I've learned with no prior practice. the flesh burn is more of a poorly done illusion then a trick, so don't give me hell for it. song clip - Lamb of God - Laid To Rest just like emo hawthorne heights sex porn porno girl girls teen teenagers sexy naked lesbians bed table lamp tila tequila peter pan orange blue red purple cnn smosh brookers thewinekone lonelygirl15 mtv travis barker tom mark chris matthew alex alexander david andrew drew james ashlee ashley ashlie katy katie katee sarah sara yo yo hollywood undead scene obscene myspace bring me the horizon my hero is me bury your dead A Black Rose Burial Abigail Williams Aerosmith -From First To Last Job For A Cowboy As Blood Runs Black To Late For Roses [2L4R] Atreyu underOATH The Misfits, Anti-Flag, Nine More Minutes, Hope's Well, Our Name In Lights, The Clash, AFI, 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Janet Kuypers poem "And I'm Wondering" Chicago 08/05/07beach
Janet Kuypers read this poem live at her feature at Beach Poets (with Cathleen Schandelmeier as the (More) Janet Kuypers read this poem live at her feature at Beach Poets (with Cathleen Schandelmeier as the host) August 5, 2007 at Loyola Beach in Chicago. A Listing of all of the poems that were read at this feature follows, and for more material from Janet Kuypers, see http://www.janetkuypers.com for audio and writing. the poem: Under The Sea I'd like to be Under the sea To see the fish go swim, I'd like to squish A jelly fish And then let go of him. I'd like to grab A soft-shelled crab And take him for a walk I'd like to hurdle Over a turtle And teach dolphins to talk. I'd like to see A manatee And then go play by him, I'd like to do All of these things If only I could swim! — the poem: last before extinction Now he has so many opportunities. He has nothing to lose. Why not come out of the wilderness, attack everything it sees. Kill something. Suck the blood out, make him feel alive for once more. Let them try to restrain him. He has nothing to lose. And for now it can fly to the highest redwood, look out over the world. Despise the world, the world that made him be alone, leaving him alone. Who will carry his name? Who will care for him when he is old? Who can he read bed time stories to? Now it can feel death creeping upon him, closer and closer. He wants to scream. He calls upon nature; the tides rise, earthquakes shatter homes. He does not feel vindicated. He has lost. And for now she can swim to the deepest darkest cave in the Pacific, hide from the solitude, swim lower and lower; can she find where all of the other animals of dying species hide, can she find them. There must be others. They can understand, they can live together, at the bottom of the earth. Could they show their pain for their species, share what is left of their love, create a new race? Soon they will be no more and we will be taking their bones, reassembling them, studying their form, rebuilding their lives, revering them more than we ever did in life. This is what it all becomes. This is what it all boils down to. Study the bones. Study the mistakes. Study the bones. — the poem: Slate and Marrow I No one could understand, it was like every morning I couldn't find a reason to wake up. The world felt cold, like slate, like the marble tiles in the front hallway of my parent's house, that floor was always cold, oh, how I'd like to feel the cold against my feet now. But there I was, in some eleven by twelve apartment, room, running from my past, my present. Every morning I would wake up, and I would wake up from that night again - when he came uninvited, or did I invite him? The haze of the drunken nights from then on, wearing the dress, knowing the faceless faces couldn't care less, as long as they could have their way with me later that night. What would my parents think of me now? I'm no longer their little girl. I could feel myself getting older by the minute, I could feel my skin wrinkling, my joints getting stiff. I could feel my bones, the marrow drying up, my bones crumbling away. And every morning I still put on my clothes, got my work together, headed out the door. Could I ever get out of this cycle? And it was if I had never realized that all this time I was looking for a purpose. And it was you. II When I strolled up to the street singer, I stopped because I saw your face. Why on earth did you think you could tell me your secrets when we only met fifteen minutes before? And just being in your presence made me break down, made me hate everything, made me love everything, made me want change. I'd hit you in rage, I'd lean on you, my slate, and you let me. And it was as if the marrow was back. I could just lay in bed at night and feel the blood running through my body, I could feel the oxygen as I inhaled hitting my bloodstream. I could even feel the marrow, all the cells in my body moving faster and faster. My skin would tingle. I suddenly had power - I could make blood move to any part of my body, I could make a pain go away, I could turn myself into stone, not so I was cold and unfeeling, but so I was strong, immovable. And I did it for me, but don't you dare think for a minute that I didn't do it for you. — the poem: i'm thinking about myself too much all of my life it has all been about you what do you need what do you want how can i help you what can i do for you and now for once i start to live and now you tell me that i'm thinking about myself too much and i think back to all the time i've spent with you and all the care i've given you and now you tell me that i'm thinking about myself too much and i've cooked for you and i've cleaned for you and i've made sure everything in your world made sense and now you tell me that i'm thinking about myself too much and all i can think is that you're only angry because i'm thinking about me at all — the poem: Children, Churches, and Daddies And the little girl said to me, "I thought only daddies drank beer." And I found myself trying to make excuses for the can in my hand. I remember being in the church, a guest at a wedding of two people I didn't know. My date pointed out two little boys walking to their seats in front of us. In little suits and cowboy boots, this is what is central Illinois. And my date said he was sure those boys would grow up to be gay. And the worst part was their father was the coach of the high school football team. I think I laughed, but I hesitated. I remember being in the church, it was Christmas Eve, my date's family went up for communion, and all I could think was that singing the hymns was hard enough, I don't know the words, what am I doing here, what am I supposed to do? And I stayed seated, and everyone else slowly walked to the front of the church. Little soldiers in a little line, the little children in their little dresses walking behind their mommies and daddies. And the little girl said, "I thought only daddies drank beer." And I found myself trying to make excuses. — the poem: you once so confidently I found you at the pool hall with your excuses for friends taking a drag from your filtered cigarette I don't even think you inhaled I hurled my anger at you the flames from my eyes struck you but your sculpted hair wasn't even singed and you remained as cool as you imagined yourself to be and as I turned away and stormed toward the swinging door the deafening silence was broken by a feeble cough I looked back and saw you and immobile emotionless statue with beads of sweat running down your forehead as I cocked my head I closed my eyes and the flames I once hurled were extinguished as quickly as the cigarette you once so confidently smoked — the poem: To The River I lead myself to the river to cleanse myself to strip myself of all evils I touch the water with my hand I watch the gentle rippling waves contort my image and change me I wade into the pureness my toes my heels my ankles immersed in the water it pushes against my skin it tingles my nerves the sand at the bottom slides around my toes the coldness of the water numbs me I stand paralyzed to the feeling immobilized by the sensation my tolerance grows and I continue to wade my calves my shins my knees they feel like ice they are changed by the water changed by the feeling I need the river I cannot wait any longer and I dive my hair ripples with the waves as my hands part the water as I swim downward further and further to cleanse myself as the light slowly disappears and I am flooded with new sensations and new emotions but as I rise once again to the surface as I emerge from the river I emerge from the cleansing and the air once again contaminates me with the evils of life — the poem: I Just Waited As I laid in the grass as the breeze rolled past my face you slept like a baby and I just waited I don't know what I was waiting for a change that wouldn't happen a smile of appreciation a warm kiss in the cool afternoon breeze a change that wouldn't happen I could tell you I love you but I'd be lying to the both of us. I could tell you I need you but you wouldn't listen. Sometimes I need to sleep while someone watches over me. I could just walk away and let you sleep yet I can't help but hope that soon you'll arise from your slumber and actually notice that I'm still there. And be happy that I'm still there. — the poem: precinct fourteen it was a long night for us, starting out at your apartment with your roommate's coworkers coming over and making margaritas until two in the morning, but of course we then decided that the best thing to do would be to go out and so off to the blue note we went, found some interesting people to talk to, closed the bar, i think that was the first time i ever did that, closed a late- night bar, i mean, and at four-thirty you drove me home down milwaukee ave and i know it angles, and you can see the traffic light for oncoming traffic as easily as you can see your own light, but i'm sure the light was green, and not red like the cops said, when they pulled you over. you could have been in big trouble that night, no insurance, no city registration sticker, a michigan driver's license when you'd lived in illinois for over a year now, a cracked windshield, running a red light, probably intoxicated. so they brought us to the station at five a.m., and all they did was write you a ticket, and they gave me a business card, said if we had any problems to give them a call. you drove me home, and the cops met us there, too, hitting on me again, and although we both agreed that the night was a lot of fun, even with the involvement of the fourteenth precinct, i still believe that damn light wasn't even red. — the poem: philosopher at the blue note he seemed so interested in philosophy, which seemed strange, sitting at a bar at about one-thirty in the morning, it didn't seem the time or place for philosophy. but i asked questions anyway, so do you believe in a god, and if so do you believe in a mono- or polytheistic religion? and he answered by saying that everyone has a god, whether it be their soul or an icon they pray to every night before they go to bed. and that it doesn't matter what form the god takes for a person, because the moral values are similar in most every religion, what matters is that we have a god of one sort or another. that most people don't pay attention to their spirituality, who they are or what they really want. no, they don't, i thought, and was amazed that this drunk man was able to formulate cohesive thoughts at two-thirty in the morning. but then, of course, he had to mention something about sexuality, and then i realized that it was all one long, drawn- out come on, then he asked me for my phone number and i gave him a fake one, and then he tried to kiss me, and i pushed him away and he ended up running out of the bar. so much for phil- osophy, i thought, and i went home once again, alone with my morals, or values, or whatever the hell you want to call them, wondering if there is anyone out there like me. — the poem: Freedom just past the Fence After working for the Army for years on repairing jet engines I ended up being stationed in Pennsylvania one summer repairing air conditioners and refrigerators. I'd only do a little work and then have nothing to do for a day or two. But the thing I remember is that at the time Cubans were defecting to the United States by boat. They'd sail to Florida, most of then dehydrated and all of them malnourished. The U.S. government didn't want them spreading diseases in our country, so when the Cubans would appear off the coast of Miami, the military would be waiting to make sure they were healthy. Well, all I knew was that they got all these Cubans into trucks we called 'cattle cars' with only a few benches and trucked them up to Pennsylvania, where I was, and the military gave them some shots to make sure they weren't dying. So these people, after escaping their country in a shoddy wooden boat were taken by the U.S. military, herded into a boxed-in truck and shipped up the country so they could be given shots and detained. These Cubans, who came here wanting freedom, now had to wait in a fenced-in area until they were tested and given food. And it was my job to make sure that their fridge and air conditioner was working. So I sat there for a day or two at a time, drinking cans of beer, and looking out my window. I had a view of the razor wire fence and all I remember was seeing all of these Cubans leaning on the chain-link fence, wondering if this was what it was like to be free, holding on to the metal, looking out to what they were sure was freedom. — the poem: Writing Your Name I sat there in the shade I took a stick I wrote your name in the ground preacher says the number one sin is lust then I am condemned to Hell for I want you and I don't care what preacher says for if the elements wash away your name tonight I will be back tomorrow to write it again. — the poem: The Beach At Night it is getting dark the day is slowly transforming itself into night the beautiful, colorful sunburst of colors sinks into the waters of the ocean the slow, steady lapping of the waves accompanies you the soft, cold sand is pressed against your feet look around this is the beach at night — the poem: All Men Have Secrets all men have secrets and here is mine. Strength is my weakness and now my shoulders don't stay in place. You ask me to open my eyes but they are. At least I think they are. Why don't you take me in your arms? Why don't you seduce me? Tear me in half. Rip me apart. Just don't cast me aside. I don't want to be strong. Be strong for me, so that I can adjust my chin and not have to worry about whether or not my eyes are open. — the poem: moonlight moonlight is a hypnotist putting people in a trance whenever you look at it it takes over your soul no one can stop it but no one wants to — the poem: too far When he met me he told me I looked like Kim Basinger long blonde locks but as time wore on I knew I wasn't her and I could never be her and I was never good enough thin enough pretty enough I got a perm straightened my teeth bought a wonder bra but it wasn't doing the trick I bought slimfast used the stair stepper ate rice cakes and wheat germ but I wasn't thin enough I only dropped twenty pounds so I went to the spa got my skin peeled soaked myself in mud wrapped myself in cellophane bought the amino acid facial creams but I knew they didn't really work so I went to the doctor got my nose slimmed my tummy stapled my thighs sucked thought about getting a rib or two removed like Cher but I figured they've got to be there for something and hey, that's just going too far — the poem: dive The water has always called to me. I had to go, I know you don't understand, but it was the end for me. You stand on the edge of the cliff, waiting, hoping, but I'm gone. I left. I was gone before I dove into the murky water. The pain that was inside me is now in the water. The tides are now stronger. They will pull the next one in with even more power. It may be you. The birds are chirping in the trees. A car will soon drive by on the road not far from your path. Life will go on, even without me. My spirit was here, in the water, before I left. I had to go. Try to understand. — the poem: And I'm Wondering I'm wondering if there's something chemical that brings people together, something that brings people to their knees, somethings that sucks them in And I'm wondering if you're sensing what I'm sensing, is it just me, am I making this up in my head, or when I glance up and catch your eyes, well, are you actually staring at me And I'm wondering if it could work out this time, if we'd have one of those relationships that no one ever doubts, especially us, because we know we'll always be in love And I'm wondering if you'd find my neurotic pet-peeves charming like how I hate it when someone touches my belly because I'm so self conscious And I'm wondering why you had to tell me when we happened to be sitting next to each other that the fact that our legs were almost touching was making your heart race And I'm wondering why I felt the need to take your cigarette and inhale, exhale while the filter was still warm from your lips, there just seconds before And I'm wondering if a year or two from now, after we've been going out and should have gotten to the point where we are bored with each other and sink into a comfortable rut if you saw me making macaroni and cheese in the kitchen using margarine and water because I'm out of milk and I've got my hair pulled back and strands are falling into my eyes and I'm wearing an oversized button-down denim shirt and nothing else, well, what I'm wondering is if you would see me like this and still think I was sexy When I glance up and catch your eyes from across the room, when I see your eyes dart away, when I feel this chemical reaction, well, what I'm wondering is, can you feel it too (Less)
Autum Tears - Love Poems For Dying Children - Act I 1996.rar Zippo Tricks just got my zippo yesterday, so i guess im a amature. this is what I've learned with no prior (More) just got my zippo yesterday, so i guess im a amature. this is what I've learned with no prior practice. the flesh burn is more of a poorly done illusion then a trick, so don't give me hell for it. song clip - Lamb of God - Laid To Rest just like emo hawthorne heights sex porn porno girl girls teen teenagers sexy naked lesbians bed table lamp tila tequila peter pan orange blue red purple cnn smosh brookers thewinekone lonelygirl15 mtv travis barker tom mark chris matthew alex alexander david andrew drew james ashlee ashley ashlie katy katie katee sarah sara yo yo hollywood undead scene obscene myspace bring me the horizon my hero is me bury your dead A Black Rose Burial Abigail Williams Aerosmith -From First To Last Job For A Cowboy As Blood Runs Black To Late For Roses [2L4R] Atreyu underOATH The Misfits, Anti-Flag, Nine More Minutes, Hope's Well, Our Name In Lights, The Clash, AFI, Dropkick Murphys, Armor For Sleep, Asteria, Beoudin SoundClash, Blink-182, Emery, Goldfinger, Gorillaz, Jimmy Eat World, Liam Lynch, Motion City Soundtrack, Nirvana, Norma Jean, Rancid, Reel Big Fish, Rise Against, Big D & The Kids Table, Rufio, The Starting Line, Story Of The Year, Sublime, Taking Back Sunday, The Early November, The Number 12 Looks Like You, The Offsprings, The Toasters, The Transplants, The Unseen, Throwdown, Adam & Andrew, Slingshot 57, Less Than Jake, The Postal Service, The Academy Is..., The Deadlines, Project 86, Gogol Bordello, The Allstonians, Kicked In The Head, Sum 41 Circle Of Studdliness, The Recieving End Of Sirens Manic Sewing Circle Beastie Boys CCR Bullet For My Valentine Greely Estates Cartel Vaux Saves The Day Senes Fail The Color Of Violence Eleventyseven The Dead Kennedys Afi Agony Scene All Shall Perish A Love Ends Suicide Amon Amarth Abberlin And The Hero Fails Animosity Anthrax Arch Enemy Arsis Arsonists Get All The Girls As Blood Runs Black As I Lay Dying As The Sun Sets At The Gates Avenged Sevenfold Becoming The Archetype Benny Banassi Behemoth Between The Buried & Me Betrayed Billly Idol Black Dahlia Murder Black Sabbath Bleeding Through Blessed By A Broken Heart Bless The fall Blink 182 Blondie Bon Jovi Botch Bright Eyes Bring Me The Horizon BURY YOUR DEAD Cannibal Corpse Casey Jones Cattle Decapitation Children Of Bodom Chimaira Chiodos Circle Of Dead Children Circle Takes The Square Coheed & Cambria Comeback Kid Conducting From The Grave Cradle Of Filth Darkest Hour David Bowie Deff Leapord Devil Wears Prada Devil Driver Despised Icon Dem Franchize Boys Dmx Dragon Force Dr.Acula Dream Theater Dying Fetus Ed Gein Emery Eminem Eisly Elysia Eternal Tears Of Sorrow Exodus Faceless Fall Of Troy Fall Out Boy Fear Before Forigner From A Second Story Window Glassjaw Good Charolette Goodbyetommorow Georgorth Grace Gale Guns N' Roses Gwar HeavyHeavy LowLow Himsa Hypocrisy Icepick Into The Moat Impending Doom In Flames Ion Dissoncace Iron Maiden Jimmy Hendrix Job For a Cowboy Judas Priest Journey Kataklysn Kiss Korn Lamb Of God Led Zepplin Lydia Marilyn Manson Maroon five Wasp Mega Death Metallica Misericordiam Misfits Morbid angel Moria Mortal Treason MOTLEY CRUE Napalm Death Necrophagist Neuraxis Nile Nirvana Nitro Norma Jean Number 12 Looks Like you Obituary Ozzy PANTERA Parkway Drive Pat Benatar Poison Portugal The Man Quiot Riot Red Chord Rise Against Rod Stewart Rolling Stones Rush Saosin Scary Kids Scarying Kids Schoolyard Heroes Scorpions See You Next Tuesday Sex Pistols Silverstein Skid Row Slayer SlipKnot Spinal Tap Stick To Your Guns Styx Suffokate Sucide Silence Sworn Enemy Taking Back Sunday Thrice The acacia Strain The Beatles The Chariot The Eagles The Fray The Locust The Ramones The Used Thousand Foot Crutch Thrice Through The Eyes Of The Dead Throwdown Trapt Trivium Twisted Sister Underoath (old) Unearth Van Halen Vanessa Carlton Vital Remains Waking The Cadaver War From A harlot's Mouth Warrant Wecamewithbrokenteeth White Snake Winds Of Plague Winter Solstice With Honor Zao ZZ Top LOCAL BANDS jessica simpson britney spears paris hilton sex tape sadam hussein steve erwin 911 september january febuary march april may june july august october november december monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 q w e r t y u i o p a s d f g h j k l z x c v b n m poop boob boobs boobies tit tits titties milk wii nintendo xbox 360 ps3 (more) (less) sony umbrella punk * Algeria * Argentina * Australia * Austria * Azerbaijan * Bahrain * Bangladesh * Belarus * Belgium * Bolivia * Bosnia and Herzegovina * Brazil * Brunei * Bulgaria * Canada * Chile * China * Colombia * Costa Rica * Croatia * Cuba * Cyprus * Czech Republic * Denmark * Dominican Republic * Ecuador * Egypt * El Salvador * Estonia * Finland * France * Georgia * Germany * Greece * Guatemala * Honduras * 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game cheats for ps2 13 1906 youtube 14 1643 lil wayne 15 1607 linkin park 16 1593 games play 17 1590 naruto 18 1468 dogs 19 1359 cars 20 1345 jenna jameson 21 1339 t-pain 22 1323 google.com 23 1294 msn 24 1290 craigslist 25 1282 anime 26 1276 dictionary 27 1262 you tube 28 1253 wikipedia 29 1231 fall out boy 30 1231 games 31 1230 hot 32 1222 britney spears 33 1205 insurance 34 1199 yahoo mail 35 1198 music 36 1192 meaning of names 37 1179 beyonce 38 1152 my space 39 1151 eminem 40 1146 avril lavigne 41 1124 girlfriend 42 1120 fergie 43 1116 dog 44 1113 jessica simpson 45 1111 funny 46 1108 50 cent 47 1088 play games 48 1088 american idol 49 1037 lyrics music 50 1034 carmen electra 51 1023 hotmail.com 52 1006 walmart 53 1004 jessica alba 54 997 ps 2 game cheats 55 968 hotmail 56 966 holocaust 57 956 pamela anderson 58 954 ask.com 59 951 www.myspace.com 60 933 home depot 61 933 three days grace 62 933 bikini 63 912 mom coupons 64 905 lyrics 65 898 aol.com 66 888 search engines 67 872 my chemical romance 68 868 thong 69 867 dogpile 70 858 global warming 71 839 dancing with the stars 72 839 lost to end 73 839 kids fly free 74 823 poetry 75 823 weather 76 822 runescape 77 812 nudist 78 807 free e-cards 79 804 myspace layouts 80 802 mims 81 785 lindsay lohan 82 783 antonella barba 83 782 facebook 84 779 vida guerra 85 778 rihanna 86 776 www.yahoo.com 87 775 thongs 88 770 girl 89 768 lowes 90 766 mothers day 91 762 map quest 92 758 umbrella 93 756 gospel music lyrics 94 753 babes 95 751 civil war 96 748 booty 97 743 lingerie 98 741 korn 99 740 chris brown 100 740 samuel blankson books 101 736 maps 102 734 pop lock and drop it 103 733 target 104 727 slipknot 105 722 nickelback 106 720 msn.com 107 720 asian 108 718 pictures of cats 109 712 pokemon 110 707 cnn 111 697 test 112 695 spiderman 113 694 hearts 114 692 radio stations 115 692 white pages 116 685 carrie underwood 117 680 spiderman 3 118 676 family guy 119 673 taylor swift 120 673 wwe 121 668 system of a down 122 668 panties 123 665 horses 124 665 metallica 125 665 ebay.com 126 663 george bush 127 663 love 128 644 play game 129 637 breaking benjamin 130 636 amazon.com 131 635 glamorous 132 635 party like a rockstar 133 627 best buy 134 626 search engine 135 624 justin timberlake 136 617 craigs list 137 616 amazon 138 611 pretty ricky 139 603 disturbed 140 602 breasts 141 601 proxy 142 596 sublime 143 595 bow wow 144 595 jokes 145 594 www.google.com 146 592 real estate 147 592 paris mugshot 148 589 beach 149 588 cats 150 586 pennington arrested 151 585 youtube.com 152 576 sears 153 575 women 154 574 song lyrics 155 562 ludacris 156 561 ask 157 555 southwest airlines 158 552 animals 159 550 roses 160 549 tattoos 161 547 baby names 162 546 michelle manhart 163 539 yellow pages 164 538 tim mcgraw 165 537 rascal flatts 166 536 free games 167 534 paris 168 532 2pac 169 531 basketball 170 530 south park 171 529 spa day 172 526 baseball 173 524 puppies 174 523 mature 175 522 hinder 176 521 ceiva frames 177 520 aol 178 519 mapquest.com 179 518 hawaii 180 514 tupac 181 513 hi 182 512 ciara 183 510 free online games 184 510 the way i live 185 506 airline tickets 186 506 soccer 187 505 angelina jolie 188 503 young jeezy 189 498 dragons 190 498 t pain 191 497 money-makerz.com 192 495 myspace login 193 495 venom 194 493 blink 182 195 492 mother's day 196 492 webkinz 197 492 bob marley 198 488 stars 199 485 prom hairstyles 200 485 gmail 201 484 mars 202 484 football 203 483 i tried 204 482 three 6 mafia 205 482 perfume 206 482 ne-yo 207 481 usher 208 479 weather.com 209 478 adolf hitler 210 476 anna nicole smith 211 473 comcast.net 212 473 hilary duff 213 471 papa roach 214 470 fish 215 470 news 216 466 pornotube 217 465 bullet for my valentine 218 464 walk it out 219 462 jennifer lopez 220 459 jessica biel 221 458 pink 222 453 christina aguilera 223 452 kelly blue book 224 451 heart 225 451 2 step 226 450 john cena 227 450 tera patrick 228 447 driving directions 229 447 jordan capri 230 447 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seconds to mars 285 395 people 286 395 huey 287 395 people search 288 394 katie price 289 394 the beatles 290 393 bleach 291 392 evanescence 292 390 briana banks 293 388 donate airmiles 294 387 mom 295 387 the fray 296 386 spencer tunick 297 385 bank of america 298 384 wow 299 384 null 300 382 acdc 1 217826 myspace 2 200425 google 3 159745 ebay 4 147010 yahoo 5 146085 myspace.com 6 141793 games play 7 103893 akon 8 102683 game cheats for ps2 9 91773 yahoo.com 10 91641 mapquest 11 88042 paris hilton 12 87867 girls 13 86711 antonella barba 14 84479 anna nicole smith 15 81692 ps 2 game cheats 16 75085 youtube 17 73625 britney spears 18 64359 naruto 19 60604 jenna jameson 20 56497 dogs 21 55149 carmen electra 22 53685 anime 23 52549 msn 24 52488 michelle manhart 25 52353 dictionary 26 52302 cars 27 52021 google.com 28 51436 you tube 29 51323 beyonce 30 50338 fall out boy 31 50090 games 32 49041 american idol 33 49016 hotmail.com 34 48621 fergie 35 47852 yahoo mail 36 46561 lil wayne 37 46510 eminem 38 46179 hot 39 45884 wikipedia 40 45257 myspace layouts 41 45167 craigslist 42 43840 weather 43 43553 pamela anderson 44 43192 funny 45 42632 my space 46 42500 jessica simpson 47 42395 hotmail 48 40946 www.myspace.com 49 40202 lyrics for music 50 39764 test 51 39645 play game 52 39429 bikini 53 39231 search engines 54 38850 music 55 38482 walmart 56 37507 dog 57 37444 home depot 58 36764 jessica alba 59 36614 my chemical romance 60 35301 thong 61 34794 lyrics 62 34788 thongs 63 34563 ebay.com 64 33730 aol.com 65 33719 flowers 66 33647 50 cent 67 33609 runescape 68 33577 lingerie 69 33266 lyrics music 70 32911 mims 71 32155 chris brown 72 31988 amazon.com 73 31977 justin timberlake 74 31396 ask.com 75 31283 babes 76 31200 vida guerra 77 30987 girl 78 30957 airline tickets 79 30606 avril lavigne 80 30318 dogpile 81 30257 meaning of names 82 29923 lowes 83 29908 www.yahoo.com 84 29729 nudist 85 29650 best buy 86 29633 global warming 87 29427 breasts 88 29000 msn.com 89 28599 family guy 90 28593 map quest 91 28529 linkin park 92 28392 three days grace 93 28376 maps 94 27892 wwe 95 27892 slipknot 96 27888 love 97 27828 baby names 98 27743 lindsay lohan 99 27244 cnn 100 27203 smack that 101 27164 poetry 102 26422 korn 103 26372 booty 104 26039 target 105 25230 asian 106 24986 amazon 107 24862 women 108 24824 jennifer lopez 109 24817 panties 110 24790 find music lyrics 111 24776 pretty ricky 112 24659 free games 113 24644 christina aguilera 114 24591 nickelback 115 24577 free e-cards 116 24563 metallica 117 24558 play games 118 24537 ludacris 119 24447 walk it out 120 24340 white pages 121 24255 hilary duff 122 24225 obituaries 123 24149 song lyrics 124 23819 pokemon 125 23683 free online games 126 23363 cats 127 23273 jokes 128 23236 sears 129 22993 mature 130 22699 youtube.com 131 22669 pc game cheats 132 22573 angelina jolie 133 22357 we fly high 134 22339 www.google.com 135 22211 raven riley 136 22109 pet food recall 137 21943 disturbed 138 21814 craigs list 139 21786 ciara 140 21741 young jeezy 141 21725 south park 142 21695 tattoos 143 21550 spring break 144 21534 facebook 145 21533 bow wow 146 21400 system of a down 147 21340 myspace login 148 21302 radio stations 149 21223 gwen stefani 150 21158 prom dresses 151 20958 jennifer aniston 152 20878 aol 153 20680 weather.com 154 20658 irs 155 20580 ask 156 20422 southwest airlines 157 20240 circuit city 158 20183 horses 159 20138 real estate 160 20135 limewire 161 20073 white and nerdy 162 20055 hinder 163 19932 hearts 164 19858 carrie underwood 165 19826 yellow pages 166 19670 girlfriend 167 19604 holocaust 168 19604 trish stratus 169 19528 weird al 170 19292 shakira 171 19290 panic at the disco 172 19242 google earth 173 19193 puppies 174 19180 dragons 175 19163 john cena 176 19053 halle berry 177 18961 shyamali malakar 178 18932 news 179 18854 how to save a life 180 18808 webkinz 181 18798 people search 182 18765 glamorous 183 18749 kelly blue book 184 18716 playstation2 game cheats 185 18661 300 186 18607 mapquest.com 187 18578 basketball 188 18520 tera patrick 189 18504 make it rain 190 18332 anna nicole 191 18264 statue of liberty 192 18242 tim mcgraw 193 18121 pink 194 18088 the game 195 18051 free radio stations 196 18046 harry potter 197 17994 gospel music lyrics 198 17986 movies 199 17976 people 200 17905 topless M80 How to make smoke bomb flash powder black powder gunpowder gun powder anfo explosion explosive acetone peroxide high explosive H.E. thermite WTC thermate world trade center bold ira conspiracy theories theory iraq gun guns rifle mg machine gun boom bang huge powerful insane salute gram grain round airsoft softair magnesium aluminum firework fireworks grenade works bomb rocket fountain cannon damage magnalium quarter stick of dynamite tnt depth charge braniac firecracker fun ball match head sparkler fire fireball the 4th of July accident party sugar kno3 salt peter potassium nitrate alkali metal potassium sodium raw pyro pyrotechnics incendiary army military marines navy seals navy airforce operation irene black hawk down m-80 m80 m1000 pipe bomb guncotton nitrostarch mythbusters c-4 c4 plastic explosive discovery channel linear shaped charge bang powder bangsite calcium carbide cannon Chinese American visco cannon fuse homemade ball mill mortar and pastel green mix show store shop pyrodex musket pistol sniper rifle bf2 mine Vietnam battlefield 2142 combustion cannons rockets fountains binded bind coffee creamer fireball new years eve new years day parade celebration Chinese new year sulfur gasoline kerosene diesel atomic bomb smart bomb demo demonstration nuclear shrapnel pearl harbor desert storm deflagration detonation test experiment experimental bangers banger charcoal ball mill CIA method precipitation method huge cool insane powerful explosion blasting cap det cor petn ammonium nitrate gun cotton flashpowder drano bomb dry ice bomb works hydrochloric acid Hot teen Stella Stewart awakes to the early morning sun and 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Janet Kuypers poem "And I'm Wondering" Chicago 08/05/07beach Janet Kuypers read this poem live at her feature at Beach Poets (with Cathleen Schandelmeier as the (More) Janet Kuypers read this poem live at her feature at Beach Poets (with Cathleen Schandelmeier as the host) August 5, 2007 at Loyola Beach in Chicago. A Listing of all of the poems that were read at this feature follows, and for more material from Janet Kuypers, see http://www.janetkuypers.com for audio and writing. the poem: Under The Sea I'd like to be Under the sea To see the fish go swim, I'd like to squish A jelly fish And then let go of him. I'd like to grab A soft-shelled crab And take him for a walk I'd like to hurdle Over a turtle And teach dolphins to talk. I'd like to see A manatee And then go play by him, I'd like to do All of these things If only I could swim! — the poem: last before extinction Now he has so many opportunities. He has nothing to lose. Why not come out of the wilderness, attack everything it sees. Kill something. Suck the blood out, make him feel alive for once more. Let them try to restrain him. He has nothing to lose. And for now it can fly to the highest redwood, look out over the world. Despise the world, the world that made him be alone, leaving him alone. Who will carry his name? Who will care for him when he is old? Who can he read bed time stories to? Now it can feel death creeping upon him, closer and closer. He wants to scream. He calls upon nature; the tides rise, earthquakes shatter homes. He does not feel vindicated. He has lost. And for now she can swim to the deepest darkest cave in the Pacific, hide from the solitude, swim lower and lower; can she find where all of the other animals of dying species hide, can she find them. There must be others. They can understand, they can live together, at the bottom of the earth. Could they show their pain for their species, share what is left of their love, create a new race? Soon they will be no more and we will be taking their bones, reassembling them, studying their form, rebuilding their lives, revering them more than we ever did in life. This is what it all becomes. This is what it all boils down to. Study the bones. Study the mistakes. Study the bones. — the poem: Slate and Marrow I No one could understand, it was like every morning I couldn't find a reason to wake up. The world felt cold, like slate, like the marble tiles in the front hallway of my parent's house, that floor was always cold, oh, how I'd like to feel the cold against my feet now. But there I was, in some eleven by twelve apartment, room, running from my past, my present. Every morning I would wake up, and I would wake up from that night again - when he came uninvited, or did I invite him? The haze of the drunken nights from then on, wearing the dress, knowing the faceless faces couldn't care less, as long as they could have their way with me later that night. What would my parents think of me now? I'm no longer their little girl. I could feel myself getting older by the minute, I could feel my skin wrinkling, my joints getting stiff. I could feel my bones, the marrow drying up, my bones crumbling away. And every morning I still put on my clothes, got my work together, headed out the door. Could I ever get out of this cycle? And it was if I had never realized that all this time I was looking for a purpose. And it was you. II When I strolled up to the street singer, I stopped because I saw your face. Why on earth did you think you could tell me your secrets when we only met fifteen minutes before? And just being in your presence made me break down, made me hate everything, made me love everything, made me want change. I'd hit you in rage, I'd lean on you, my slate, and you let me. And it was as if the marrow was back. I could just lay in bed at night and feel the blood running through my body, I could feel the oxygen as I inhaled hitting my bloodstream. I could even feel the marrow, all the cells in my body moving faster and faster. My skin would tingle. I suddenly had power - I could make blood move to any part of my body, I could make a pain go away, I could turn myself into stone, not so I was cold and unfeeling, but so I was strong, immovable. And I did it for me, but don't you dare think for a minute that I didn't do it for you. — the poem: i'm thinking about myself too much all of my life it has all been about you what do you need what do you want how can i help you what can i do for you and now for once i start to live and now you tell me that i'm thinking about myself too much and i think back to all the time i've spent with you and all the care i've given you and now you tell me that i'm thinking about myself too much and i've cooked for you and i've cleaned for you and i've made sure everything in your world made sense and now you tell me that i'm thinking about myself too much and all i can think is that you're only angry because i'm thinking about me at all — the poem: Children, Churches, and Daddies And the little girl said to me, "I thought only daddies drank beer." And I found myself trying to make excuses for the can in my hand. I remember being in the church, a guest at a wedding of two people I didn't know. My date pointed out two little boys walking to their seats in front of us. In little suits and cowboy boots, this is what is central Illinois. And my date said he was sure those boys would grow up to be gay. And the worst part was their father was the coach of the high school football team. I think I laughed, but I hesitated. I remember being in the church, it was Christmas Eve, my date's family went up for communion, and all I could think was that singing the hymns was hard enough, I don't know the words, what am I doing here, what am I supposed to do? And I stayed seated, and everyone else slowly walked to the front of the church. Little soldiers in a little line, the little children in their little dresses walking behind their mommies and daddies. And the little girl said, "I thought only daddies drank beer." And I found myself trying to make excuses. — the poem: you once so confidently I found you at the pool hall with your excuses for friends taking a drag from your filtered cigarette I don't even think you inhaled I hurled my anger at you the flames from my eyes struck you but your sculpted hair wasn't even singed and you remained as cool as you imagined yourself to be and as I turned away and stormed toward the swinging door the deafening silence was broken by a feeble cough I looked back and saw you and immobile emotionless statue with beads of sweat running down your forehead as I cocked my head I closed my eyes and the flames I once hurled were extinguished as quickly as the cigarette you once so confidently smoked — the poem: To The River I lead myself to the river to cleanse myself to strip myself of all evils I touch the water with my hand I watch the gentle rippling waves contort my image and change me I wade into the pureness my toes my heels my ankles immersed in the water it pushes against my skin it tingles my nerves the sand at the bottom slides around my toes the coldness of the water numbs me I stand paralyzed to the feeling immobilized by the sensation my tolerance grows and I continue to wade my calves my shins my knees they feel like ice they are changed by the water changed by the feeling I need the river I cannot wait any longer and I dive my hair ripples with the waves as my hands part the water as I swim downward further and further to cleanse myself as the light slowly disappears and I am flooded with new sensations and new emotions but as I rise once again to the surface as I emerge from the river I emerge from the cleansing and the air once again contaminates me with the evils of life — the poem: I Just Waited As I laid in the grass as the breeze rolled past my face you slept like a baby and I just waited I don't know what I was waiting for a change that wouldn't happen a smile of appreciation a warm kiss in the cool afternoon breeze a change that wouldn't happen I could tell you I love you but I'd be lying to the both of us. I could tell you I need you but you wouldn't listen. Sometimes I need to sleep while someone watches over me. I could just walk away and let you sleep yet I can't help but hope that soon you'll arise from your slumber and actually notice that I'm still there. And be happy that I'm still there. — the poem: precinct fourteen it was a long night for us, starting out at your apartment with your roommate's coworkers coming over and making margaritas until two in the morning, but of course we then decided that the best thing to do would be to go out and so off to the blue note we went, found some interesting people to talk to, closed the bar, i think that was the first time i ever did that, closed a late- night bar, i mean, and at four-thirty you drove me home down milwaukee ave and i know it angles, and you can see the traffic light for oncoming traffic as easily as you can see your own light, but i'm sure the light was green, and not red like the cops said, when they pulled you over. you could have been in big trouble that night, no insurance, no city registration sticker, a michigan driver's license when you'd lived in illinois for over a year now, a cracked windshield, running a red light, probably intoxicated. so they brought us to the station at five a.m., and all they did was write you a ticket, and they gave me a business card, said if we had any problems to give them a call. you drove me home, and the cops met us there, too, hitting on me again, and although we both agreed that the night was a lot of fun, even with the involvement of the fourteenth precinct, i still believe that damn light wasn't even red. — the poem: philosopher at the blue note he seemed so interested in philosophy, which seemed strange, sitting at a bar at about one-thirty in the morning, it didn't seem the time or place for philosophy. but i asked questions anyway, so do you believe in a god, and if so do you believe in a mono- or polytheistic religion? and he answered by saying that everyone has a god, whether it be their soul or an icon they pray to every night before they go to bed. and that it doesn't matter what form the god takes for a person, because the moral values are similar in most every religion, what matters is that we have a god of one sort or another. that most people don't pay attention to their spirituality, who they are or what they really want. no, they don't, i thought, and was amazed that this drunk man was able to formulate cohesive thoughts at two-thirty in the morning. but then, of course, he had to mention something about sexuality, and then i realized that it was all one long, drawn- out come on, then he asked me for my phone number and i gave him a fake one, and then he tried to kiss me, and i pushed him away and he ended up running out of the bar. so much for phil- osophy, i thought, and i went home once again, alone with my morals, or values, or whatever the hell you want to call them, wondering if there is anyone out there like me. — the poem: Freedom just past the Fence After working for the Army for years on repairing jet engines I ended up being stationed in Pennsylvania one summer repairing air conditioners and refrigerators. I'd only do a little work and then have nothing to do for a day or two. But the thing I remember is that at the time Cubans were defecting to the United States by boat. They'd sail to Florida, most of then dehydrated and all of them malnourished. The U.S. government didn't want them spreading diseases in our country, so when the Cubans would appear off the coast of Miami, the military would be waiting to make sure they were healthy. Well, all I knew was that they got all these Cubans into trucks we called 'cattle cars' with only a few benches and trucked them up to Pennsylvania, where I was, and the military gave them some shots to make sure they weren't dying. So these people, after escaping their country in a shoddy wooden boat were taken by the U.S. military, herded into a boxed-in truck and shipped up the country so they could be given shots and detained. These Cubans, who came here wanting freedom, now had to wait in a fenced-in area until they were tested and given food. And it was my job to make sure that their fridge and air conditioner was working. So I sat there for a day or two at a time, drinking cans of beer, and looking out my window. I had a view of the razor wire fence and all I remember was seeing all of these Cubans leaning on the chain-link fence, wondering if this was what it was like to be free, holding on to the metal, looking out to what they were sure was freedom. — the poem: Writing Your Name I sat there in the shade I took a stick I wrote your name in the ground preacher says the number one sin is lust then I am condemned to Hell for I want you and I don't care what preacher says for if the elements wash away your name tonight I will be back tomorrow to write it again. — the poem: The Beach At Night it is getting dark the day is slowly transforming itself into night the beautiful, colorful sunburst of colors sinks into the waters of the ocean the slow, steady lapping of the waves accompanies you the soft, cold sand is pressed against your feet look around this is the beach at night — the poem: All Men Have Secrets all men have secrets and here is mine. Strength is my weakness and now my shoulders don't stay in place. You ask me to open my eyes but they are. At least I think they are. Why don't you take me in your arms? Why don't you seduce me? Tear me in half. Rip me apart. Just don't cast me aside. I don't want to be strong. Be strong for me, so that I can adjust my chin and not have to worry about whether or not my eyes are open. — the poem: moonlight moonlight is a hypnotist putting people in a trance whenever you look at it it takes over your soul no one can stop it but no one wants to — the poem: too far When he met me he told me I looked like Kim Basinger long blonde locks but as time wore on I knew I wasn't her and I could never be her and I was never good enough thin enough pretty enough I got a perm straightened my teeth bought a wonder bra but it wasn't doing the trick I bought slimfast used the stair stepper ate rice cakes and wheat germ but I wasn't thin enough I only dropped twenty pounds so I went to the spa got my skin peeled soaked myself in mud wrapped myself in cellophane bought the amino acid facial creams but I knew they didn't really work so I went to the doctor got my nose slimmed my tummy stapled my thighs sucked thought about getting a rib or two removed like Cher but I figured they've got to be there for something and hey, that's just going too far — the poem: dive The water has always called to me. I had to go, I know you don't understand, but it was the end for me. You stand on the edge of the cliff, waiting, hoping, but I'm gone. I left. I was gone before I dove into the murky water. The pain that was inside me is now in the water. The tides are now stronger. They will pull the next one in with even more power. It may be you. The birds are chirping in the trees. A car will soon drive by on the road not far from your path. Life will go on, even without me. My spirit was here, in the water, before I left. I had to go. Try to understand. — the poem: And I'm Wondering I'm wondering if there's something chemical that brings people together, something that brings people to their knees, somethings that sucks them in And I'm wondering if you're sensing what I'm sensing, is it just me, am I making this up in my head, or when I glance up and catch your eyes, well, are you actually staring at me And I'm wondering if it could work out this time, if we'd have one of those relationships that no one ever doubts, especially us, because we know we'll always be in love And I'm wondering if you'd find my neurotic pet-peeves charming like how I hate it when someone touches my belly because I'm so self conscious And I'm wondering why you had to tell me when we happened to be sitting next to each other that the fact that our legs were almost touching was making your heart race And I'm wondering why I felt the need to take your cigarette and inhale, exhale while the filter was still warm from your lips, there just seconds before And I'm wondering if a year or two from now, after we've been going out and should have gotten to the point where we are bored with each other and sink into a comfortable rut if you saw me making macaroni and cheese in the kitchen using margarine and water because I'm out of milk and I've got my hair pulled back and strands are falling into my eyes and I'm wearing an oversized button-down denim shirt and nothing else, well, what I'm wondering is if you would see me like this and still think I was sexy When I glance up and catch your eyes from across the room, when I see your eyes dart away, when I feel this chemical reaction, well, what I'm wondering is, can you feel it too (Less)
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2008-05-14 - extension: rar - size: 55 MB
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